Fire in the Hole!

First Line Prompt - FB

 Question Prompt for 11/14/20: How did a disagreement over pizza toppings lead to an explosion? 

______________________

Each of the day’s indignities, screw-ups and disappointments ran through Clayton’s mind in a never ending “having a bad day” loop from Hell. He fought back his anger and concentrated on finding #347 Baker.

Finding his professional mode always brought his blood pressure down and eased the chronic migraines he suffered day in, day out.  #347 was halfway down the block.  He turned into the driveway. The beat Fiesta’s power steering pump squealed in pain.

The front door opened.  Standing in front of Clayton was an open bathrobe poorly draped over a very hairy human wearing nothing but a glare.  Clayton barely blinked.

“Pizza for a Mr Jones.”

A furry arm reached out and snatched the large ham and pineapple pizza out of Clayton’s grip and opened it. “This isn’t Bacon and Pineapple. I ordered Bacon and Pineapple.  What the Hell is wrong with you people.”  Hairy Man threw the pizza on the porch.  “I don’t want it.”

Clayton stood immobile.  Not a muscle moved.  He looked at Hairy Man. “No problem sir. Sorry about the mix up.”

Clayton turned to leave. 

“Take the pizza with you.” Clayton swiveled back around.  Hairy Man stood with his feet apart and his hands on his hips.  Clayton could feel his blood pressure rise.  Instead, he smiled and said.  “Of course sir.  My bad.”  He picked up the pizza and returned to his car.

Up the block Clayton stopped.  His hands became knotted veins and tendons strangling the steering wheel.  Clayton fumed a minute or so. He decided what he had to do to bring him peace.

He opened the trunk and pulled out the grenade launcher he had stashed there for moments like this.  Stepping around his car, he shouldered it and aimed at Hairy Man’s front door.

“Fire in the hole!”